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He never gives us more than we can handle. He always opens a window...”“What the fuck are you talking about? A window?”I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.“Are you just saying stuff pastor? Do you have any idea how dumb you sound right now?”Paul seemed startled by my response.“I’m not one of your deacons or choir boys,” I said harshly. “I’m not here to lap up your bullshit and tell you it’s steak. You’re not in church now. You’re in the real world for once and we’re all real men who’ve been through real shit.”I looked around but nobody would look back at me.So I continued.“Where was God’s window when my parents died and I was forced to live with a family of assholes? Where was the window when Big Bob beat me for forgetting to close the barn door? Where was my window when Fat Margaret made me model in my underwear? Huh?”Pastor Paul didn’t reply right away but kept my stare. I could tell he was considering his response carefully.“Where was God then?” I asked one more time for good. Skyping turned into gaming with one of my best friends, Mark. Me and Mark always had a very understanding and amazing friendship, we never fought and always had fun. We could turn to one another if there was something wrong, but we also understood if one of us wanted some space. We easily could go on for months with almost no contact and not make a big deal out of it. Yes, even in this modern area with WhatsApp the contact between us was hard, probably because he was not a big fan of texting and me neither. Our contact purely stood on Skyping and school, but after three years he had to change schools… After that our contact was based on skyping and gaming together, what wasn’t as bad… but you do miss the human contact, really seeing one another.That is why we started a tradition, every Independence Day we would go to my house and celebrate together. This was because I had quite a big house and my balcony looked out over my whole village. You could sit on there for hours and just.
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