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I thought he might be annoyed that I was getting the house messed up.And it was then that I started whispering how much I loved him. Over and over again, like an incantation I said it. With every thrust of his penis, with every kiss under my arms, with every squeeze of my bottom, I came out with it involuntarily. "I love you, Carlo", and then again as his penis reached the very top again, "....Oh God, I love you Carlo". I expected him to reply, telling me how much he loved me. Nothing came. But that is what I wanted: a word, just a word from him to reassure me.So, just when I thought this was the man for me, I started having second thoughts. I wanted sex to be gentle and romantic, not hungry and hurried and rough. Yet, although I've arranged to start dating Edmund again (partly on the advice of a friend), I don't think I'll be able to stop seeing Carlo. You see, Edmond is very shy and quiet, so different from Carlo. Yet I know he likes me. He's not gay, as some of the girls in the. I find it offensive and if you did all you said you did about learning about how to date and treat transgenders like you said then you would know better. Second, this is going to stop now. Ok, sure I am flattered and yes it felt nice because I have not dated anyone in a long time and I liked the attention. I let it go too far and for that I am sorry. It’s my fault. I should have stopped it sooner.”Justin laughed, he actually laughed at me! I know why he did. I tried to sound harsh and authoritative, but I didn’t. My voice sounded like it was pleading. I sounded more like I was begging and not harsh or commanding at all.“Don’t laugh, Justin. I am sorry you think you are in love with me. You really aren’t. Maybe, well, umm, maybe it’s that since you found out I was transgender that it’s something new to you,” I tried to play amateur therapist. “I am sorry I made you feel that way. I am sorry I let this happen.” I had no clue why I was apologizing but that was me. I.
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