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After one long night of typing up another negative report, I dragged out one of my own sperm samples and got to work.Problem one: My rate of meiosis was too low. I didn't create enough sperm. Upping that wasn't an option, since it would mean tampering with my "biological clock" and there would probably be nasty side effects if that spread.Problem two: About half the sperm I created were crap. Either they were malformed, or lacking in certain parts. I just made bad sperm. Even if through some miracle I did spooge in a nice tight cunt, the stuff would never last longe enough to fertilize an egg.And Problem three: Thanks to my screwing around with my hormones earlier in my stupid teenage years, I ejaculated much harder than the average man. I always covered my lap with a towel before whacking off, since I knew from experience that I could easily plaster the opposite wall. Sperm aren't designed to survive that kind of force.So, as I filed my reports, I ran my own experiments on lab. 'Spike' was Jane's nickname, she used to work with Anne at a large office in Adelaide. Anne was the accountant and office manager, 'Spike' was an office junior clerk come general dogsbody. Though Anne and 'Spike' didn't have much to do with each other in the office, 'Spike' tended to look at Anne as a mother figure (though the age difference was less than fifteen years)often taking her personal problems to her. Even after 'Spike' left the company she would still phone Anne to talk over her problems.Anne was at work about two months after 'Spike' had left when her phone rang, answering it Anne found she had a tearful 'Spike' on the other end of the line apparently everything that could go wrong had and she was desperately in need of a shoulder to cry on. I got a phone call from Anne letting me know she would be late home that night, as she was calling in on 'Spike' as she was having "end of the world problems".Anne arrived at 'Spike's unit to find her still in tears her eye make up.
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