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It's a question of convincing my heart. Intellectually, it's crystal clear why Colin can't commit to me, but when I'm with him, I feel that there's something more there than just the convenience of sex.Of course there is, Dolores answered. Colin cares a great deal about you. It may even be true that he loves you. It's those very feelings that he fears most. He knows the consequences of getting too deeply involved with anyone, and though it hurts him more than you can imagine, he pushes you away so that he can continue to do his duty. The sleep teacher has a simulation prepared if you would like to experience it.If it's just going to give me all the reasons why I can't be with Colin, it's a waste of time. I already know the reasons.The simulation will, of necessity, show you why you can't be with Colin, Dolores said patiently, but it's primary purpose is to help you understand why Colin can't be with you. Please, just experience the sim.Reluctantly, Moira settled into the sleep. The smell of the leather and Jim's aftershave began to commingle in my nostrils. We chitchatted comfortably about the weather, the site, and sports. He asked me who my favorite NASCAR driver was and, of course, I said Dale Earnhardt, Jr. We talked about our high school experiences and he asked if I had ever experimented with drugs. I confessed I had but never got too heavy into that scene. He then asked me if I'd done any lately and I had to admit that I hadn't. He said, "Well, I have a little Coke if you'd like to try a little hit." I was shocked that he would offer it this soon in our date, but I was committed to having a good time. Plus, I enjoyed it the few times I'd tried it in high school. We pulled over to the side of the road and snorted a line apiece. Afterward, he slipped in a cool jazz cd titled "Jazz for a Rainy Afternoon" and started the car. When I slightly turned toward him my skirt hiked up slightly revealing my inner thighs. Troy laid his hand on my knee and said how.
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