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." The name is Maddy, Des. Gemma is away working for the BBC, somewhere in the West Country." Maddy handed me an envelope. "She has explained everything in this letter." She rose from the arm of the sofa. "Read it while I go and clean-up. I've been walking around Kensington Gardens taking photos of the snowdrops."It was only then I noticed the top of the range Nikon DSLR camera she was holding. She left the room, and I opened the unsealed envelope and read the letter inside.Leaving out the endearments, and the references, the many references, to the time we had spent in the Seychelles the letter explained Gemma had been sent undercover for an exposé of care homes in the West Country, which in due course will be shown on the Panorama program on BBC TV.Gemma's white lie, to explain her absence from work when I took her for lunch at the Compleat Angler, had been taken up by the producer of Panorama, and as it was Gemma's idea she was given a major part in the production. She had been. I was not at all prepared for her response. With a shriek that reminded me of some of my worst times with my first wife, she tore into me, spittle flying everywhere.“You stupid motherfucker. You have busted every one of my Goddamned cookies. You don’t have the sense of...”I tuned her out the same way I had survived Harpy #1 and vowed to never again answer the door when the witches were flying.✧ ✧ ✧Say thanks to mixerman478 ‎for this one.Q: What does the devil have between his legs?A: He has great balls of fire.Q: Why can’t the ghost have any children?A: He has a Halloweenie.Q: What happened to the cannibal who showed up late to Halloween dinner?A: They gave him the cold shoulder.Q: Why hasn’t anyone ever seen ghost poop?A: Because it’s invisible.✧ ✧ ✧Say thanks to squaddie117 for this Grouping... ‎Q: Why did the monster go inside the bar?A: For the boos.Q: What health insurance do Halloween creatures use?A: Medi-scare.Q: What does the devil have between his legs?A: He has great balls.
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