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I didn’t know John at all, and we didn’t speak much. We didn’t make much effort to get to know each other and it’s fair to say he avoided me. During the afternoon, he disappeared many times into his bedroom where I think he was getting into some much harder drugs.After dinner, we watched a movie on TV all lying across an extra-large futon bed with a fan blowing at us in a vain attempt to cools us. John was in the corner against the wall next to Barbara then me on her right and then Emma on the end. We had some more beer and wine and another joint during the movie.We had turned the lights out to watch the movie and when the movie finished, we turned off the TV and it was very dark even though the curtains were open for ventilation. There was no moon that night and only the hint of light from a distant streetlight. I could just make out the silhouette of Barbara removing her singlet top before lying back down for a special cuddle with John. Emma untied the knot at the front of her. Even though nothing had sparked with anyone, I wasn't worried about it. My part-time job kept me in clothes and electronics, and Mom kept us fed and housed. Going to school kept me in a numb routine. A little over six months ago, Mom and I enjoyed a quiet Thanksgiving dinner alone. I never suspected what lurked inside me back then.Jules was so different now, but if anything she was more herself than she had been in years. Her party girl image was a mask she wore to keep herself safe. I knew that, but we'd both become comfortable pretending otherwise. Knowing her as I do now, I wish I'd been brave enough to tear it off of her long ago.When John came along he changed everything. He lit a passion in me that no one had before. Then his sweet, easy-going nature drew the real Jules out for us both to fall in love with. In turn, she had helped him become more outgoing and confident, and helped me to see that love and friendship can be richer than I'd dreamed. I still don't know exactly what.
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