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“I guess I must seem very ungrateful, or inconsiderate,” she said. “Here I am, with the two people who love me more than anything, and I’m upset about losing Tracy. I should be happy and content that I have the two of you.”It’s not like that at all,” Lori said. “Just because you have us, doesn’t mean you can’t love someone else. It’s unrealistic to expect that just one, or even both of us would provide everything you need. I’m sure there was something in your relationship with Tracy that you can’t get from either of us.”“Yeah, there was ... she could really relate to me emotionally; I mean, I love you and Will, but you are both so logical, so rational ... every so often, I need to be able to be a silly emotional little girl, just pretend I’m in another situation. Lots of times when we would be together, we would role play all these different scenes; sort of like what you did with her on the train that time, Will. She made me feel like I was someone completely different, someone. Somehow I managed to bring my concentration back to studies, but the urge of having sex and knowing more about it always remains somewhere in the back of my mind.I tried to understand the concept of sex, I tried repeating the act (hand job) Anitha used to give me , by myself, I.e. I started masturbating by the age of 10-11, without even knowing what masturbating was! It brought me close to the days I had spend with Anitha. At the age of 12-13 I secretly started reading magazines like Womensera, Manorama and Grehshobha which enhanced my knowledge of Sex and Masturbation, that was the time I realised what I was doing was perfectly normal.Now I started masturbating even more by watching models picture in magazines, item video songs of Bollywood, HBO Star Movies and FTV were other sources. I used to fantasise sex with aunties and di di’s of our locality, it used to be great.I was introduced to blue films when I was in class 7th, exchanging CDs DVDs of blue films and nude photos with.
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