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Newton and I started a breakfast of raspberry-filled doughnuts. ‘What did you do?’ asked Newton between bites. ‘Nothing,’ I shrugged, ‘I simply yelled at Hoss to get out and he did. The rest … I dunno.’ ‘Wasn’t it the result of a power granted by your hat?’ As I mentioned earlier, I have a hat. It’s a black top hat about eight inches tall with a blue bandanna hatband and a red feather stuck in it. But it’s no ordinary top hat. It acts as a gateway to an extradimensional space, allowing me to store several hundred of my closest friends in it. I can also produce almost anything I need from it – like televisions, VCRs, diamonds cut into shapes of contour maps of various states, peanut-butter-powered cars, gasoline-powered hats and wool-knit sandwiches. Plus every time I place this particular top hat on my head, it does something strange. Once it made me One With The Cosmos for the better part of four years, another time it hurtled me forward in time approximately fifteen years (safely. ”Bobbi Jo blushed at my comment and didn’t seem to know what else to say. I took advantage of the lull in our conversation to think of a way to get her alone. I have an extensive collection of American Civil War relics in my basement, and I was hoping that she would be interested in seeing them.So, I asked, “Instead of sitting here all alone, would you be interested in seeing my Civil War collection? I don’t show it off very often, but it looks to me like you could use a break from the hot sun for a few minutes.”She accepted the invitation, and I was almost certain that no one was paying attention to us as I led her down the stairs and under the deck, to the door to our walkout basement. Once inside, I locked the basement door from the inside when she wasn’t paying attention, and then led her to the fifteen by fifteen feet room dedicated to my collection. She seemed a little nervous to be totally alone with a big, black man, but didn’t hesitate to follow me in there.We looked at.
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