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Hiding Kristen wound up costing me a lot of cash, so I needed it.Virgil was practically living outside during the daytime. He'd shoot out the door as soon as I opened it in the morning. Usually, he'd just find a sunny spot somewhere and do exactly what he did in the front room window; nothing.It was the week after Kristen took off that he was back to his old tricks again. I'd just let him out and put his food and water on the back step, when he let out a loud yowl. For a moment, I thought he'd hurt himself, but when I looked up, he was just sitting by the gate, waiting to be let out. I guess the 'yowl' was to get my attention.I thought about ignoring him, but I knew if I did that, he'd just jump the fence like he did before. He had me trained and he knew it. When I opened the gate, he strolled out into the alley and looked back at me. I watched to see where he was headed. He wandered down the alley toward Millie's and stopped about half way to look over his shoulder. I guess he was. Grunge wonderment instantly found itself replaced by the whirring monotony of a motionless lawnmower in neutral. There was an ungainly thud as I hit the grass on the far side of the hedge. Mr Parslow paused briefly, wheezing as he stood over me like a drunken cohort helping an inebriated friend at last orders. ‘You naughty little tease,’ he grunted, his eyes suddenly noticing the slogan sprawled cheekily across my white cotton briefs, ‘So you’ve come to play, have you?’ The answer was grinning back at him in bubblegum pink - Hello, Daddy. As choices go, those panties were properly prophetic. I’d acquired them when we’d done Scunthorpe for Auntie Val’s hen do. We’d had a riot in some poor chap’s back street sex shop during a late afternoon pub crawl. Val had stumbled on the knickers whilst assaulting a blow-up doll - ‘They’re so you!’ she’d shrieked as Sheila chased me around a dildo stand with a black mamba in her hand. The manager offered up the knickers in exchange for a civilised.
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