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But less hard to act it. Less hard to live it. Have I been living it?Immediately his brain started to protest. Phrasing it that way made it sound like Jon had been living a bad life, one filled with vice and iniquity. Jon silenced that voice as well as he could. It was true that he had been living as moral and virtuous a life as he could, and trying to do as much good as possible; and there was dignity in that. But it wasn't the same as trying to follow Jesus.Human life is so selfish. If left to our own devices we just do whatever the heck makes the most sense to us—hurt this person, take this stuff, sleep with this lady. No thought of consequences. No thought of love. We live for ourselves and for no one else. But that's how we know that Jesus was a divine influence: he encourages us to transcend our mere humanity. He wants us to be more than just plain old selfish human. He wants us to care about others more than we care about ourselves. He wants us to ... Love.Caring about others. Imagination wore out as a means to satisfy myself. I began to search through everything for stimulating pictures: the lingerie section of mums catalogs. I would have killed for a Fiesta or Escort magazine, but they were simply not to be gotten at the time, especially not in mum's house. Later that month, as I was rooting around in mum's wardrobe, I found several pictures of my mother. Not just any old pictures, mind you, but shots of her all dolled up in lingerie and laying on her bed in very seductive poses. Nothing slutty, and no nudity, just incredibly sexy shots of my mum. I wondered why mum still had the photos. My active imagination conjured up the idea that she had left them there for me to find. Maybe she was trying to show me more about women! In my hormone-saturated brain, I even had an idea that mum would teach me personally how lovemaking worked. I've got to let you know what my mum looks like before I go on. She's 5'10", with long brown hair. Her eyes are a light green..
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