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Then the films got more disturbing and he got more violent afterwards. It was as if they set him off, he got off watching the films then hurting me. The final straw, at least the first one, was that terrible film that Lena has described. I didn’t realise but, by this time I had begun to enjoy the pain, almost expected it, I suppose, and felt it was my ‘job’ to give him pleasure through my pain. I realise now how silly that was and is. Sex isn’t about pain, it’s about pleasure and love isn’t about submission, it’s about sharing. That’s what Lena and Mike have and I was loathe to risk ruining that. When his wife finally turned up and explained everything I was shattered. My whole life seemed to ebb away. I realised that in a strange way I loved him, loved the sex, the pain, the humiliation. I knew I had to break with him, I didn’t want to face what she had described. I was scared stiff. Then the dreams, they were horrible. I would wake up feeling sick at what I had imagined, how. Sometimes at school I would get really hot and bothered thinking of the dogs, or of Amy, or of whatever. When I got so worked up from these perverted thoughts that I couldn't concentrate on class anymore, well, I simply had to cum. I couldn't resist it. But masturbating in a Catholic school's girls bathroom isn't as easy as you might think. I would sit there in a stall, fingering myself, and then hear another girl in the bathroom start talking about God. Or family. Or tests. Such mundane things always crushed my libido and made it hard for me to climax. Having a good porno magazine on hand to rub-off to always set me straight. Besides, it was kinda hot to masturbate to a hard-core porn magazine whilst listening to other girls my age (or younger) gossip about whatever from the other side of my stall.As I stared at the video store I was glad I'd kept that DVD hidden in amongst my porn mags and school textbooks. It really was time to return it, I realized, and the parking lot in front.
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