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.. it makes her more perfect than ever."Yeah, when he realized that, unlike him, I'd never been unfaithful and his accusations were totally groundless, his heart just gave out. I know the hypertension and lack of any exercise other than banging his secretary didn't help," she adds, grinning ruefully, "but there's no doubt in anyone's mind, who was there, that it was the sure and certain knowledge of the screwing he was about to undergo that did him in. I'd finally had enough and had him dead-to-rights and he knew it." She giggles and for a moment I hear the little girl she once was. "Sorry, poor choice of words there. I suppose you think I'm a monster, laughing at my husband's death." No Shelley, you're many things but 'monster' isn't one of them." I motion towards the bottle of whiskey with my head and raise my eyebrows in question."Oh God yes," she exclaims, "Can you even imagine what it's like trying to appear the properly grieving widow at your husband's funeral when you were. We were 16 and hormones rising. Curious how the female body works. Sure we've seen porns and stuff but it wasn't enough that we just masturbated to them. We went over to analyze some videos he had found in his parents room. We were all pretty excited. Three of us made a bet, who will get to lose their virginity first? We were all sitting around the TV right before the sex was about to begin. We all imagined that it should be the girls job on how to do the blow job so we just watched it together no deep conversations. But right before he was going to stick his unusually large penis in her we heard the garage door open. It was his mom. We stopped the tape and luckily had Halo in the background so change scenes quickly. She was quite furious and asked what we were still doing here? Or actually why was he? He had to pick up his little brother and sisters while she made them lunch. He asked us if we were gonna accompany him to pick up his siblings and we just laughed and said it's his.
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