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”He wrapped his legs around my waist while I sat on the bed.He tried kissing me but ended up giving a peck on my lips. I in spite of trying to control my anger slapped him hard. It made a strong sound and it shook him from inside out. He breathed heavily and moved back. He stood to get out without saying anything. He said while leaving, “I’m sorry.”His eyes were filled with tears but not a drop came out. He controlled his guilt, anger and all that he was feeling so well. I felt at that instant but regretted the second when I slapped. I never slapped him out of anger. I called him on his phone and told him to come to my room as soon as possible. He didn’t come.It was 2 am. I couldn’t sleep after even trying hard for about an hour. That was my wedding day and I wasn’t even worried about that. I was worried about why I slapped Vivaan. It was the right thing to do, I knew but I could feel what he felt for me. We were close for years. But now everything between us ended, the intensity of. I concicdered myself a heterosexual though I had experienced, over those years, occasional sexual activity with men.I\’d for the most part attributed these encountersto two main factors,I was high and horney and they we\’re genually looking for male sex. I was usually the reciepiant of satisfaction to completion and as time went on was more and more willing to recipricate, going as far as I could muster the erotic desire.(mostly because I was brought to orgasm first)I finally sought and recieved help for my life long battle against my chemical addictions. Thru hard work and perseverance I accumulated 3yrs. plus of clean time.My life was consumed by work and meetings.The only sexual gratificatin I enjoyed was at my own hand.When doing so,however,many times I would activate thoe memories of my sexual experiences with men.(few and breif as they were)One day, an old ‘so called friend’ turned me onto crystal meth. This was one drug I had never done, so it\’s buzz to me was rather.
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