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But I didn’t say anything, except to thank her for the wine, and then I read some more. He asked me about my husband, about our sex life—how often, what positions—and found it dull. No anal, no threesomes, no experience of sex clubs, only a little porn. “No wonder you came to me. You’re desperate. You’re one of the millions leading lives of quiet desperation. But my project is not meant to be an erotic emergency room for the sexually challenged. I can train people when they reach a plateau and need to be pushed beyond.” Between the time I bought the book and now, I had spent weeks thinking about this moment and expected much more. Men hit on me all the time. I’m attractive. How could he push away a willing woman half his age? As if he read my mind, he added, “And you’re flat-chested. Not very interesting as a body. Need to do something about that. Piercings or tattoos. Something.” “No one ever called me that, ‘flat-chested’. That’s ridiculous!” “No one ever told you the. " I second that," agreed Ralph. "In my book any girl who wants the whip is awesome." Ralph, can you just shut up?" countered Mick, glaring at him.At this point I tried to put the best face on it. "Well, you know, I never said I knew where our flag was. You just assumed I did. I wasn't sure you'd even believe me if I claimed otherwise." Well, the whole issue is moot anyway," Mick interrupted. "Because I already know where their flag is. But that doesn't do much good. Except for me, our whole offensive squad got captured. I'm lucky I got away. You know that rocky promontory? That's where their flag and jail is. It's real easy to defend. And they're really well coordinated. Besides the pair of two-way radios we gave them, they have some of their own that they didn't tell us about."Looking at me he asked, "Are you two the only ones they sent forward?" I'm not telling you anything about our strategy," I replied haughtily."Give her the whip. Give her the whip," chanted Ralph softly.Mick.
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