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I determined to do the same, to take the chances the Mighty Lord gave me to prosper.There are venomous serpents in the rocks, but by God's plan, are not silent death like those of other lands, but instead, if they are cognizant of one's approach, make a great hissing noise from a second head on their tails. I saw a large herd of giant deer, with broad antlers and proud heads. They walked as apparitions in the dawning misty day, as silent as wraiths. I was too entranced by their beauty and majesty to even consider trying to obtain them for larder, feeling that these Lordly Deer were not for the common man such as I. In the light of reasoning day I scoffed at my notions, but still, they were very large, and I doubt myself that I could even get from them their skins, so great would be their weight upon the ground. Given opportunity, should one man alone attempt to capture a whale?Beside the small and melodious wild dogs, I saw their larger cousins, fleet and shy wolves, who also filled. Humans also took this power away from the word "God" and gave it back to mankind to do with it what they could or would. I don't remember when it started but I began to get pleasure from being humiliated by men and I wanted them to punish me but to love me, unlike my father, who beat me, but without love and always attached to why God wanted him to. I abhored this. I came to hate my father. His very smile would make me sick to my stomach but I yearned for his love nonetheless. Pretty fucked up. I went from man to man searching for the right balance of being fucked, being owned, and being loved. That is a deadly combination if ever a man gets it right because then someone like me becomes puddy in their hands. I chose to have no limits. No safe words. That would give me power. I wanted no power. I wanted to fully submit to my Master and have Him have complete control over me. Feeling helpless and vulnerable was what I craved. If I had to drink His piss right from the spout, I would. If.
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