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The stress of Maggie's condition, job pressures and unpaid bills combined to wear me down to an empty shell of my earlier self. My poor performance at work was the first signal. I was in a funk of despondency and couldn't lift myself out of it. The household chores didn't get done. Dishes piled up; beds went unmade and unchanged. Worst of all, I sat by Maggie's bed in the skilled nursing home and stared off into space. I had become useless to everyone.It was my Mother-in Law, Tess who pried me loose from my mired mind. "I'd send you to the doctor if I thought it'd help,"Tess said. "But what you really need right now is to get laid." I was jolted into reality. "What did you say? I love Maggie, and she..." "Oh shut up,"Tess growled. "I know what I'm talking about. If I thought Maggie would be offended I'd never suggest it, but it's exactly what she'd want for you." Tess went on."Life goes on. Find someone. Start a relationship. Get on with your life." With that said and tears rolling. Please forgive me."She held on tighter. A couple of minutes later the sobbing was replaced with her gentle breathing as she slept in my arms.It seemed to take hours to fall asleep. The whole time, Jill kept her face and her hand pressed against my chest. Even in her sleep, the arm that was wrapped around me pulled tight, as if to keep me from leaving her. She was in the same position, holding on just as tightly when I woke up at 6AM. I reached down and stroked her hair. She sighed in her sleep. I crooked my neck and kissed the top of her head."Hey, Babe. It's time to get up."She tried to dig her face into me. "No." Come on, Jill. School." I'm sick. I wanna stay here." Well, I'm not. I need to get up and get ready."I was able to ease away from her, despite her grumbling attempts to hold on to me. She kind of fell forward, her face in the sleeping bag as I got up.I went in the bathroom, used the toilet and brushed my teeth. I hadn't showered Monday night so I decided a quick shower was.
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