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First, I was nice to her when she moved in next door to me. From my perspective that was kind of "Duh ... you were gorgeous!" but the majority of teenage girls don't like their bodies. That's because of what Madison Avenue tells them about their bodies - that they are too fat, that their skin isn't clear enough, that their hair is too dull, that their fricking eyelashes don't have enough body, that they don't smell good enough, even to the point that they should be scared that their natural female odors are being broadcast like a massive fart or something. Advertising spends billions telling young girls they aren't good enough unless they buy this product and use it up and buy more.So the majority of teenage girls, including the babes, don't believe they are just naturally attractive.And when her female intuition recognized that my male intuition thought she was meeting the standard just fine, there was an unconscious approval of me that settled into her brain. That was the start.. My face looked gaunt. There really was no other word for it. I certainly could not see any reason for Kelly to have any interest in me.How did I feel about Kelly? I knew, but I couldn't describe it.How did I feel about the possibility of a baby? Terror. And happiness. Mans only immortality is through his children, after all.Then I realized that what I felt most, was peace. If Kelly was not pregnant, all ends well. If she is, I'd be there for her however she needed or wanted me. If she would have me, I'd marry her. If she wouldn't wed me, neither Kelly, nor our child would ever have a want or need. That much I could make sure of with the settlement moneys. I would be involved, either directly or from a distance, but it would be up to Kelly.The thought of having another child warmed my heart. I caught myself almost hoping she WAS pregnant, but then thought, no, that might not be what was best for Kelly.I looked closely at that thought. Yep, I loved her. Now, was I IN LOVE? Hmm, no, not.
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