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Control.It's control over me. My control over it. When it would start. Keeping it incheck. What it would require of me to appease it. How long the urge would last.Keeping it as a long held private secret. Mine only. To know and fear, andyet, embrace. All of these things, and more, it has been for the better part of forty-fiveof my fifty-two years. But now, it is complicated. Not it isn't so much about my control, or evenit's control. Now it is, quite in fact, completely out of my hands. It started innocently enough, I'm sure. Subtle little urges that all littleboys have growing up. I used to scurry down the stairs to the living room whenI was five or six, real early on Saturday mornings to partake in that timehonored ritual of Saturday morning cartoons. My parents, still dead to theworld from their weekly Friday night trip to the neighborhood tavern, wouldn'trouse themselves for at least three more hours. So I'd turn on the TV, waitthe pre-requisite three minutes for it to warm up,. "No what?" A threesome." A what?" You know with another girl" Seriously Brian?" Why not try it out?" Well okay I said" a little annoyed that he wanted to bring another woman to bed. But after that nothing really happened for a few weeks. Until we met Daisy at a party, she was drunk as hell and we ended up bringing her to Brian's apartment. I was a little shocked and quite a bit jealous when Daisy started making out with Brian. Daisy was nice I guess blonde hair nice tight ass and nice tits, not as nice as mine really I mean my tits were bigger. Daisy came back to the bedroom I followed. It seemed to me that Brian had only one thing on his mind and that was getting into Daisy's pants."Lets fuck" Daisy suggested. She stripped out of her clothes and lay naked and somewhat limp on the bed."Come on Jenn" Brian said."I ... I don't know Brian I mean?" Look Jenn either you do this or you can leave, and don't bother coming back"I wanted to leave, but I wanted to keep Brian happy he was such a.
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