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I think you could begin with something more dramatic that draws the reader into the story more rapidly. It’s the third page before we have a clue that they are boarding a spaceship. Lead with it. Even a simple a sentence of thought from the main character that said, ‘I took one last look at the earth before I boarded for my journey to the stars.’ Something that immediately sets the scene. Then you can deal with the weight of his baggage, the nods to people he knew and worked with, and the scurry of preparing his room and meeting his neighbors. The way it reads at the moment, he might be arriving on campus for his second year of college. Once you got past the slightly awkward opening, though, the story arc took shape in a well-defined progression of events that made life on the spaceship reasonable and believable if the reader is capable of believing science fiction at all. Some readers aren’t, you know.”“I’ve met a few,” I nodded.“Now the character arc is a bit uneven. First of all,. We headed out to the shops and before I knew it we were buying some sexy clothes for me. A short tight black skirt, black fishnet stockings and black lace panties. A lovely white fitted blouse and a black satin corset with suspenders.Before we headed home she went to a shoe shop and had me try on a pair of 5 inch black patent heels, they fitted like a glove.With our purchases we headed home for a night in.Sarah left me in the bedroom and asked me to get dressed up. As I put on my new clothes I found myself getting really hot and horny thinking about what might happen later that evening. I was all dressed up and waiting for her to come back to the bedroom when I heard someone at the front door.I could hear some voices but didn't think too much about it. A few minutes after Sarah appeared in the and looked pleased to see how I looked in my office girl outfit. I was ready for some fun but she told me to wait while she got ready for me. I didn't know what she meant t that point.After.
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