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"Yes,” he smiled, “I am the manager. But I don’t see your name on the service agenda." “It's in my husbands name, Kevin Smith." “Ah, yes… here it is. Are you waiting for your car or will you come back later to pick it up?" "I am waiting for it. I brought my iPad to keep me busy." Michael took my key and directed me to the waiting area. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He went to get my car and came back in a few minutes and told me it would be later in the afternoon before my car would be finished. Did I have someone to call to come and get me? I told him I would wait. Michael walked away. I began to think that our afternoon together had just been a bit of fun for him, that he wasn’t really interested in me. I opened my iPad but, before I could sign on to Lush, Michael was back. He sat beside me. “Joy, I don't know if I am being to forward or not, but I have not been able to get you out of my mind." I smiled, my heart missing a beat. ”Well, Michael, I have thought of nothing but. I missed the activity fairly rapidly, but it was part of missing Rachel. After a couple of weeks, I resumed masturbating, something I could do without issues at night in my room, surfing for porn with a pair of headphones and my laptop. Incredibly satisfying, it wasn’t, but I wasn’t ready to start hunting for Rachel’s replacement. In fact, I wasn’t certain I was going to get there, emotionally. Richard might be able to turn it off and on at will – and I hoped Nola had the tools to deal with it – but I couldn’t just switch horses. Rachel had been my love, my life partner, for over a decade. I couldn’t just change up, like switching channels on a TV.Connie presented pluses and minuses. It was clear to me that many of Rachel’s habits and attitudes came from her mother. Connie reminded me of Rachel every day. In some ways, it was gratifying, comfortable – as if Rachel was still with us. In others, it as disconcerting. I had to work at avoiding the kind of casual intimacy that Rachel and.
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