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"I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!''That must've been scary, ' said the teacher.'It sure was, ' said the little girl. 'My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff! Ffffff! FfffffF!" but before she could say 'Fuck Off!' the Rottweiler ate her!The teacher had to leave the room...Cussing at WorkDear Employees:It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings. I got home at 6:00. When changing out of my suit, that same inner Harleysuggested that I go ahead and pad my hips and butt, and put on my tightsand fishnets. Nervously, I did. Happily, my jeans still fit over it all,though of course not the way that they normally do.After dinner, I did the dishes, and it was getting dark. I could do moreto get ready, I thought. I put on my foundation, and rejoined my wife,who was engrossed in a video game. You can do even more to get ready, myinner Harley teased. I put on my bra, and rimmed my eyes with a touch oflight crayon eyeliner. The doorbell rang, and I hesitatingly answered thedoor. But all attention was focussed on the trick-or-treating kid, whocouldn't have been more than 3 years old.8:00 was drawing near, and there were no more trick-or-treaters in sight.I added my blush, contoured the outside corners of my eyes with deep redand blue shadow (red on one eye, blue on the other, of course), and usedliquid eyeliner to add batwings. I.
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