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I would surely suffer great agony and pain prior to the finish. I also found a design for a gallows type beam structure for a slow hang. My final choice for the ending was a contraption of my own dark mind. It would have a double barrel sawed off shotgun enclosed in a headrest at the back of a comfortable chair. I would control the triggers with a lever. The placement of the back of my head against the barrels would be such that my head would be completely blown off above the neck. These three devices were for me to chose from at the desired time after inflicting unspeakable damage to my body over many hours. The actual death would be easy. Now I had to decide on how to slowly commit self torture and mutilation to resemble my dead wife. I needed to see and feel the damage inflicted on my body, but not lose too much blood and not black out too often from the pain. I was going to be taking some Percoset and Ecstasy in a combination that would leave me totally lucid, but take the edge. He needed her. Swimming to the surface, he spied her ashore. She was beautiful to him; her back arched in pleasure. He slowly approached her. Not wanting to scare her away, he blended in with the nonstop waves, until his face was between her thighs. He was so close that he could smell her need. Slowly, very slowly, he leaned forward with his tongue poised. “The waves must be playing tricks on my mind. I swear I just felt a tongue,” she mused. Glad that water was his element, he let the fluid position his arms around her thighs. His body flowed around her, waiting for the right moment to materialize. With the next wave, he solidified; his strong upper body holding her hips close to his face. She looked up, quickly. Emerald green eyes locked with a pair of blue ones that seem to be swirling with the exact colors of the sea. His face was classic, with a roman nose, high cheek bones, and a sexy cleft in his chin. The more she looked the more he became apparent; his long wavy hair,.
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