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.. but when the two of us appeared on their shows, and they had to confront us face to face, we ripped them apart with our sincere love-for-the-weaker-and-endangered-species, ecological horse shit. The ones who tried to make funnies after we made our appeal for humanity to lower forms of life found themselves on the short end of the rating stick. The people were behind us, rooting for us, even though they hadn't the faintest idea what we were really about. To some it was obviously the dog food munching kinship, to others the animal sex... but for some reason, their numbers expanded to include folks who'd never tried Chef Fido's Gourmet Pooch, who'd never sampled the delights of a Doberman on the waterbed. The time was ripe for us, that was the only way to explain it. Like it'd been for Frank Sinatra, the Beatles. The papers actually started calling it 'Fidomania', and me, 'Fido's girl'.The sales of Gourmet Pooch quintupled during the first eight weeks after the release of what the. She thrust a pice of paper under my nose ?care to explain this Emily?, god I was mortified, how on earth had she got hold of it. ?Well, I’m waiting?, she demanded, I was genuinly speachless, i couldn’t think of any reply whatsoever. I hung my head in shame as she began to read out loud my answers, ?so you want you knickers taking down and your bare bottom smacked do you??, she had a hint of amusement in her voice. I was suprised she wasn’t laughing her head off, I think I would have been if I had been in her position. She continued to compound my shame even more by telling my it was my Dad’s idea to send me the email as he had a feeling it was what i needed it my live. I held my hands over my face and began to sob ?please Mum I only replied as joke i dont really want it to happen in real life?. ?Nonsense young lady? she answered ? I have seen the way you have been anticipating a reply, just like a child waiting for chistmas? she laughed.The stark realisation began to hit me that I was.
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