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We were acting like newlyweds again, hoping each time we made love that we would he would impregnate me.But before we could start over, I knew I had to call my black lover, to tell him that I could not see him again. He wanted us to meet at his apartment, but I had made up my mind he was not going to seduce me again with his touch and kisses. I insisted we go for a drive in the country, away from everyone and, most importantly, away from the temptation of an afternoon in his apartment.We parked at a hidden picnic area near a small stream and walked along the stream banks holding hands. I told him that I loved him but I had to stop seeing him. I told him why and how important it was for me, that I had decided that I wanted another baby, the baby I had wanted to have with him, but he had run from the commitment.He didn't want to hear it and tried to kiss me. But I knew it had to be this way, pushing away I angrily walked back to the van. There was a slight drizzle and my clothes were. My heart is beating fast, and I dont know what to do. Hes obviously going to be bigger than me, so I might as well give in to what he wants. Be easier in the long run. I stop still, just feet from my house and the pressure lifts from off my shoulder. Turning round, I see the last person I expect to see. Ian. The hot guy who lives next door. We only really see him around winter and late at night, strangely when the sun is weak or not out at all. But when we do see him, its hard to stop watching him, with his perfect abs, sky blue eyes and the gorgeous black hair and stubble. He is just perfection, the amount of times I have fantasized about him. You scared me Oh, sorry, I didnt mean to, I just saw you and… Yes? Damn, his voice. It was making me wet listening to that deep American drawl. …and thought Id say hi. Oh. Well. Hi. I smiled, well I thought I did, my whole body was numb, from shock, and admiration, and well, I was trying so hard not to say fuck me now, goddamn, it was easier.
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