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"Where is everyone?" I looked around and the place seemed deserted."Everyone?" He looked around too."Yeah, um ... Where's Adolf Hitler? And Jeffrey Dahlmer? And um ... Judas? Isn't Judas here? I'd love to talk to him." Uh ... no, there's just us." Huh?" You're the first person to be damned." What?" I gave him the look I reserved for idiots who told me there were aliens abducting cows."You're it, yep ... Number one!" He smiled. "I'm really glad you're here too!" You mean to say nobody else, in all of human history, has ever been damned to Hell before?" Uhhhhh..." Satan looked at me very apologetically, "No. I mean ... Yeah. That about sums it up." But what did I do? I mean, I killed myself, so what? Zillions of folks do that all the time! I lied, I cheated at Monopoly, I fucked every chance I got, drank, did drugs, shoplifted, kicked a dog, strangled a cat almost to death once, ummm ... I swear a lot, I eat meat on Fridays, masturbate during confession, and plot to seduce my father.. All through high school people joked about how hot your mom is, and you just chuckled along. Even after graduating, you still get the occasional message on your social networking site of choice asking how your hot mom was doing.On the opposite end of the spectrum is your older sister, Lisa. She just turned 21. She's a bit big, though she wears the weight well, nearly all of it in her ass, thighs, and breasts, giving her an impressive hourglass figure. Her hair is brown, like yours, her dark blue eyes behind thin-rimmed glasses. Her shorts were somewhat loose, though there wasn't a pair of jeans in existence that wasn't way too big that didn't hug her ass and thighs at least a little. Despite the mid-summer evening warmth, she wore a grey jacket that zipped down the front; it was like her signature piece of apparel. She's a bit of a geek, and a major computer buff. She's a guild officer in an MMO, is constantly upgrading her computer, and can do things with a smartphone that make your.
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