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”“So?” I bitched, remembering now that Eddie worked as a delivery man, and just noticed the bloody great white van blocking up my ground floor flats’s natural light, with ‘FedEx’ painted on the side in big bold letters. “Ain’t got nothin’ to get up fer, ‘ave I? Yer bangin’ on the wrong bloody door, Eddie, mate, I don’t ever get no letters or parcels, only bills and you kin keep them buggers, smoke ‘em for all I care.”“It’s a little package,” he announced, like a snappy male midwife after a long labour, telling an exhausted mum that her infant was ginger and ugly before giving the looked-for gender-specific verdict, “An’ it’s come all the way from the USA.”Now he was starting to annoy me. Eddie always was a kidder at school, only he never knew when to bloody well stop kidding, that’s how he got that flat nose.“If it was just a little package, yer could’ve stuck it through the bloody door instead of wakin’ me up, yer bastard.”“I need yer to sign for it, otherwise I ‘affter take it back. ”I checked with Mary and she was hard at work and only looked up for a second, then went right back at it. By the time I got to the smart-ass k** I was calmed down and determined to finish the next couple hours in peace. He was working on the feminine products and not happy.“Why the hell can’t I work in electronics?” He asked as I approached. “Because you need to get this done, if I put you in electronics you won’t get shit done.” I growled back at him. As I turned to go he said, “Hey Ted, who the hell is that hot chick running around here in that hot pink dress?”I just shrugged but he would not let it go, “Well whoever it is she wants you man. She was back here asking for ‘Teddy’ and said she had something for you. Man I crawl through ten yards of shit to get at that ass!”“That’s enough of that sort of talk,” I demanded, “keep your nose in the Kotex and out of my business.”I knew that little shit and I were going to bump heads and didn’t want my first shift with him to start.
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