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And it might be psychological as well - a mindset I thought I’d been able to control, but apparently had not. There was still something amiss, and I wasn’t quite sure how to repair whatever the flaw or failure was. The easy answer was to just stop the behavior, but that had never really worked as a permanent solution. I had to change my mindset.So many of my closest female friends had said it was just who I was, and maybe that was true in the past. I didn’t think so, and the mini-meltdown over the twins had shown that not to be the case. Then, when opportunities began to present themselves, I allowed myself to drift back towards my previous behavior. At first, I’d considered only the ‘bonding’ relationships, but then Meredith had caused me to slip into the ‘dalliance’ relationships again. I COULD have said ‘no’, but didn’t. The question was, obviously, ‘why?’.‘Why?’ was, as I thought about it, because I was addicted to those kinds of relationships. I had shown I COULD break the. It turned out the place where I had to go was a few houses away from hers. She invited me for a cup of coffee which I politely declined. As I finished with my visit and walked out it was raining heavily and I was steadily walking on the sides not wanting to get wet when Sneha called me from her house. Reluctantly I went inside to find her all alone dressed in a simple tee and shorts. All her family members were out of station and she could not go because her job was new and had no leaves. She gave me a towel to wipe of my hair and got a cup of steaming coffee. She sat across me and was smiling slyly and was asking me to stay back till the rain subsides. As I finished the coffee Sneha walked up and planted herself on my lap and started kissing me. Though taken aback by the sudden onslaught I started to fondle her and kissed back. My hands were roaming all over her body and she started tugging at my jeans. Breaking off the kiss she looked at me and said Ashu ” I am all in love with you.
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