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” I expected his response to be something like, “Um yeah...I totally forgot to feed my cat! Gotta go bye!” Instead, he said, “You know, I have a foot fetish.”At first I was a bit freaked out. But the next time we hung out, he told me that I was the only person he had told among our group of MFA friends because I seemed accepting. This both flattered and intrigued me; we barely knew each other, but he felt he could tell me this secret. So I asked him more and more questions. He’d had this fetish since before he could remember. When he was a baby he used to crawl around the yoga studio his mother owned sucking on the toes of all the female yogis. When he was in high school, his ex-best friend told the whole school, but it backfired and all the pubescent girls with raging hormones started asking him to give them foot massages. It often lead elsewhere. He could look at a woman and guess what her feet look like. He could look at feet and guess what the woman looked like. He didn’t like. I should have known that I wouldn't like the answer." So what are you going to do about it? Mark asked. "You're out of uniform." If I thought it would do any good I'd strip buck naked and work that way, but I'd never get anything done with you drooling on my desk all day long, Kevin. I'll be damned if I'm going to go home and change so let them fire me. What about you, Mike?" I'll tell you in a couple of hours. I have to make a phone call first." Going to call your mommy or your lawyer? she teased."My accountant." Mike answered and returned to his desk.Precisely at 10:00 AM Mike lifted the phone and punched in the number of his accountant."Hey Mel, how am I doing?" Mike asked when Mel picked up the phone."Huh?" Mel, Mel, Mel! People are going to lose faith in an accountant that answers their questions with a 'Huh'. You're supposed to be on top of everything." Mike?" came a plaintive query."Well, that beats 'Huh'. Yeah, it's Mike. I want to think about retirement, Mel. So how am I.
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