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"I love you. Why can't you love me. You said you do." Even as the words came out of my mouth, I started to realize that they didn't make much sense. Our situation... My situation... there was just nothing that fit together logically. He said things. I said things. My husband said things. All of it was a confused jumble in my mind. I didn't want to hit him. I didn't want to hurt him. I just wanted him to know what I felt. I hurt. Javon held me tight. Whether it was to keep me from hitting or just to help me calm down soon stopped mattering to me. I went limp in his arms crying softly. "Just love me baby. Please, just love me."When he picked me up and carried me upstairs, I let myself submit, totally. I kept telling myself I wouldn't. I kept telling myself I shouldn't. But I did. He laid me on the bed and undressed both of us, lying next to me, holding me close. All of our time together, all of our physical and emotional interaction had been sexual until then, almost. It was tiresome to have to take the railway to London when there was so much work remaining to be done with my charge in Brighton but I felt obliged to satisfy him.I found him poring over his Geneao Plan. The clusters of red, black and white markers had changed: many now seemed clustered around the centre of the map. "Skiing!" Castwich exclaimed. "They're all off at Klosters. Too many genetic units in too close proximity! We lose sight of the risks when there are so many of them in the same place. It's a limitation of our systems I fear."I noticed Julian's assistant, the voluptuous girl who had been moving markers on my first visit. She was busy as before but I noticed her take a swiftly hidden glance across at me. Had Castwich told her of my work I wondered? Did she harbour desires of being treated as Helena was, perhaps?As Julian completed his tasks at the Plan I permitted myself a few moments imagining the girl impaled on the Orrery or crouching in the cage at Highgate. It was a.
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