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My heart is breaking. Even this awareness is not stopping the lust. The need. The insanity. How can I feel in heaven when he tells me he will talk to me after my mother goes to sleep?My mother announces her arrival and all I want to do is crawl in my bed and curl like a ball and just think about what happened. I wouldn't even need to touch myself. Not at first.Can't do that. I have to pretend I'm fine. She might think I'm still sulking over my breakup, but I don't want to take any chances. I get dressed, and as I do I realize my clothes are still in the bathroom. The dirty ones and the ones dad brought me. I hurry there and gather them, putting some into the hamper and taking the others back to my room.With a last look in the mirror, I go out again, ready to face my mother. Dad's still in the shower when I'm there. I feel like the worst kind of slut to hug her and act like nothing's happened.She's going upstairs to change before she gives me a stern look once she learns I haven't. The candelabra sat on an dark walnut and marble Victorian side table, that I had also found and bought at another antique store. On top of the marble table top I had place a square piece of purple-colored velvet cloth, with each corner pointing towards the four sides of the table, instead of it's edges running parallel to table's edges. ITo me it created a nicer design effect that way. Then, on top of the velvet fabric I placed a rather large, and flat, oval-shaped black glazed platter, of the sort that one might serve a Thanksgiving turkey dinner. The entire set-up was up against one of the rooms walls, on which I had hung a large framed mirror. The over all effect, for me at least, was one of mystery, solemnity, and yet unmistakably exciting because of that! My young slaves seemed to feel the way.Once Andrew and I were in the 'sacred space', I had him completely undress. Then, once he was, I directed him to approach me where I stood by the 'draining altar' as I thought of the.
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