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I’m Jenna McCartney, and this beautiful boy is Cooper ... And this week we’re in Rochdale, England, to have some fun with a lady who thought she was going to be on our show two years ago...”Inside the building – we see warehouse storage for a thousand boxes – prams, pushchairs, car-seats, playpens, etc., etc. Everything a new mother could need to stock the home for a freshly arrived child ... And waiting for us at the end of the aisle wearing figure concealing warehouse overalls, and a sly smile, is our guest for this week ... She’s lean rather than slim, a strong looking lady with long brunette hair down to her square shoulders. Pretty too, in a lean-faced, no make-up kind of way.She speaks, direct to camera, with a strong Lancashire accent, up tempo and very familiar. “Hello ... My name’s Danielle Brazil, and I’m 29-years-old. I’m from Rochdale in Lancashire – and I can’t wait to have sex with a big dog!” She smiles, apparently happy to get through her introduction.We cut to. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!o If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.o As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.o Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it.o Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for.
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