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" I don't understand," I said. "You're beautiful and intelligent. You seem to like your work and it makes you financially comfortable." I don't know either. Maybe I'm just not happy. It's like I'm with these people and I get these thoughts. I realize how weak they are and I attack. I want to be better than them, smarter, cleverer, and I am. Except a moment later I realize I'm not. They're nice and I'm not. You're nice. Nice is weak. It makes them vulnerable. But I'm the weakling. I'm the dummy. The way they look at me—the way you looked at me when I said ... whatever I said—it's like the country girl unable to adjust to big city conventions stopping conversations on a dime. I make people uncomfortable and worse. I make them hate me. But I like being clever." What you need is a good friend," I said. "The problem is the person either has to realize it's a game at the beginning or you need to find restraint. A friend enjoys teasing and being put in his place. Of course it goes both. Her face was so close to my own I felt like pulling her closer and kissing her mouth, but instead reached down and took hold of her hand and placed it on my breast, ‘You’re welcome here any night’, I said as my nipple caressed her palm of her lingering hand on my breast ‘I must go now’, she said firmly, and as she broke contact with my breast it felt cold, and something inside me wanted to pull her on top of me, ‘Will you come tonight’, and my heart leapt when she nodded enthusiastically that she would after work at 6pm. I stood quietly for a few moments. I had just arrived and already I have made two contacts for possible sex, and as I stood there, I touched my breasts feeling just how firm they felt and how hard my nipples were, not to mention between my legs, where my wetness was so obvious. I took a deep breath and felt myself in the process, my vagina was readied for intercourse, my labia were swollen and lubricated, ‘Should I wipe myself dry at my entrance, or stay wet and sit.
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