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Making another mess on myself, just like if I'd been jacking-off, but without some tissues.We'd been dating for several months, and were still nowhere close to real sex. Marti had ruined the high school rule: after three dates, you either break up, or start doing it.And I was used to getting to do it. With a girl just as happy to be on the receiving end of the stick.Instead I spent enough time jacking-off in my own room as if I didn't even have a girlfriend.I should've just dumped Marti. Even my sister Angie laughed about what a tease she was. But, then, I was the one who'd seen Marti golden naked, spread in a bed, asking for a little licking.It was one night, late, jacking-off to the earlier sight, and taste, of Marti's hot little body. I was close to ending, making some discreet sounds, when I heard other discreet sounds emanating from my sister's room. Our bedrooms adjoined, with twinned heating vents.I quieted down and listened to my sister obviously pleasuring herself. As she. .. You think of pirates as being all smiley. Actually, they’re all Somali... I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got run over.Inside a Russian woman, there’s another Russian woman.I was in the park the other day, watching a man feed the birds. After a while, I said to myself, “I wonder how long he’s been dead”.I have a friend who keeps ingesting helium. You should try it ... people speak very highly... Dear Hallmark:Roses are red, Violets are blue.Your cards are shit And your channel is, too.And the award for film of the year goes to: Cling.Cling Film.The difference between a nurse and a patient? Well, the nurse actually has a higher chance of leaving the hospital aliveלייקAnd so, 101 Dalmatians all fell asleep. Oh, wait, they’re ordinary white puppies riddled with bulletsThese bacon sandwiches are delicious, said Pooh. Aren’t they, Piglet?Piglet?At her husband’s funeral, the woman couldn’t stop smiling. Finally, one of her friends asks her why she’s so satisfied. The new widow.
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