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13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalkand announce to the other passengers: “This ismy personal space.”14) WHEN there’s only one other person in theelevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretendit wasn’t you.15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you ashock. Smile, and go back for more.16) ASK if you can push the button for otherpeople but push the wrong ones.17) HOLD the doors open and say you’re waitingfor your friend. After a while, let the doorsclose and say “Hi Greg, How’s your daybeen?”18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches tohelp pick it up, then scream: “That’s mine!”19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyonein the lift.20) PRETEND you’re a flight attendant and reviewemergency procedures and exits with thePassengers.21) SWAT at flies that don’t exist.22) CALL out “Group hug” then enforce it.An old prospector...An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town to clear his parched. She only had to lift the hem a few inches, pulled down her panties and let go the second her ass was on the seat.When she returned, three other females had claimed her booth. Normally she'd put up a fuss but tonight wasn't worth the hassle. She sat at the end of the bar starting on her fourth drink. It was eleven and the Orchid closed at one.Shasta strolled over to her, "You feeling okay?" I feel like shit!" Lena answered. "My fucking sister goes and gets all religious on me. She moves out, starts reading the Bible, goes to church then gets saved whatever that means." She found Jesus," Shasta said.Lena ignored the remark, "Then I call my brother whose sailing around this fucking planet with his wife and he thinks it's great." I envy your sister," Shasta said."Why? She won't give out what I can give to you," Lena replied."My father's a minister. A good, honest, decent man. If he thinks that he owes the IRS one more dollar than he pays, he'll send it to them with the profoundest.
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