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I pull my hood back up and drop my Head, so all I see is the ground. And I whisper please don’t tell Him, please. She pauses as if she doesn’t know what I’m talking about, and then she turns around and runs off. I lift my Head just enough to see her reach the top of the hill, I get up slowly, and walk away. I don’t want her finding me anytime soon. Almost as soon as I am out of sight of the dorm my phone starts buzzing in my pocket. I pull it out to see it’s my best friend, my roommate’s sister. I ignore it, knowing it’s not my best idea, but not wanting to talk to anyone. My phone continues to go off, still her trying to get in touch with me, my roommate trying to find me, and Him. The one I asked my roommate not to tell. I don’t want Him to know, to see me, to know how weak I am. I pull my phone out one last time intending to turn it off, when I see the latest text from Him, I’m coming to find you, is all it reads. I know He will practically tear campus apart looking for me, but I. Until I got all shaky and realized I’d overworked my muscles. Have to talk to Jock about that when I get to school this morning.I know this sounds like I’m making a big deal out of nothing, but it just makes me feel incredibly good that I’m getting body and soul together. Most of the time. Dealing with my girlfriends sometimes busts me into a bunch of pieces and I completely lose track of who and when I am.But most of the time. Most of the time I’m feeling like a whole person again. Or maybe for the first time in my life.Martin had joined us to study Sunday afternoon and it was okay. Not sure what he was expecting, but I detected that he’d had a shower before he came over for which I was thankful. We’d all studied our separate subjects. He pretty much ignored Desi, Beca, and me. I was in his geometry class but the other two freshmen had no class overlap with him. He had another class with Rachel and was in some computer class with Joan.As soon as Em and I got to school Monday.
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