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’‘Well then,’ said St Peter, ‘Which two days of the week start with the letter T?’The lady said, ‘Today and tomorrow.’St Peter pondered this answer for some time and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.‘Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions’ St Peter went on, ‘how many seconds in a year?’The lady replied, ‘Twelve!’‘Only twelve’ exclaimed St Peter, ‘how did you arrive at that figure?’‘Easy,’ said the lady, ‘there’s the second of January, the second of February, and right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.’St Peter looked at the lady and said, ‘I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.’And he walked away shaking his head.A short time later, St Peter returned to the lady. ‘I’ll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in. I was afraid you’d put a hit out on me!”“I thought about it!” she said with a soft laugh. “But I’m Greek, not Italian! I just put the moutza on you!”“The what?”“A curse. You hold your hand like this,” she held up her hand with fingers spread and held it close to my face, “and speak a curse!”“I’m almost afraid to ask,” I chuckled.“I don’t think it worked. Not the way the one that was put on the Cubs seems to have!”“Go on,” I said nervously.“That your dick would shrivel up and your balls recede into your body!” she giggled.“Nice, Cindi!” I chuckled. “Very nice. My wives would’ve KILLED you!”“So I HAD planned to wait the two years. Then two weeks ago I found out he had some nineteen-year-old move in with him. That was the last straw, obviously. I asked Gwen to file the papers on Friday, charging him with adultery.”“You do know that’s a misdemeanor in Illinois. He could even go to jail!”“Gwen told me it’s not enforced. I guess you had some trouble along those lines not too long.
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