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I locked up. I swept around back and actually had the key in the lock when I decided, oh fuck all the junk in the trunk, get it after I've gotten a cup of coffee."Hi," I heard. I whipped around to see Tracy standing on the cobbled pathway from the porch to the drive. She was smiling, and gave me a crimped little wave."Hey Tracy! So wonderful to see you." I started taking a few ambling steps her way."Gee, don't I get a hug too?" By then I was there, and my arms flew open to follow hers. For one brief moment we were like birds, flapping our wings while standing on the ground, doing some weird mating dance. Then we were clasping each other lightly around the shoulders. I was rabidly thinking about the last time we'd hugged, the last time I'd come over, when we were leaving. My right hand had surprised me and slid down from the customary position between her shoulder blades to just above the small of her back, stopping there for a couple quick pats. When we'd stepped apart, Tracy had. ”The Mexican opened his lunch box again and exclaimed “Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I’m going to jump too.”The blond guy opened his lunch and said “Bologna again! If I get one more bologna sandwich one more time I’m also going to jump.”The next day the Irishman opened his lunch, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and leaped off the scaffold. The blond guy opened his lunch, saw bologna again and leaped to his death also.At the funeral the Irishman’s wife was weeping. She said “If I’d known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again.”The Mexican’s wife also wept and said “I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn’t realize he hated burrito’s so much.”Everyone turned and looked at the blond guy’s wife and she said “Don’t look at me. He packed his own lunch.”What do you call a blond guy with an IQ of 35? Gifted.Why don’t blond guys eat more M & M’s?.
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