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It’s time for her to make an effort, even if it’s a tiny one.“This all started before I can even remember, and I don’t understand why. My earliest memories of her are, please pardon this, as an evil harpy. I never understood what it was that I did that made her feel that way about me. Or what Jeff did that made him her ‘angel’. I understand what happened with Stephanie - she decided to love me and be close to me, and that drove Mom to distraction. Can YOU explain it?”My dad shook his head, “No, I can’t, really. I have a theory, but it’s not something I can prove. When she had her miscarriage, she’d been set on having a baby girl. That’s where your name came from - Stephen, because you weren’t Stephanie. Now, I don’t know for certain one way or the other, but I believe your mother felt the baby she lost was a girl. And that made you, in her eyes, a poor shadow of what she expected.”“Resentment? Of me as a baby?”“I think so. Then Jeff came and she formed an attachment to him as you. Sexual humiliation has become something I am rather good at taking and being used has taken over any of my previous sexual preferences.Finding the men is easy enough, especially when I tell them that I don't care who they are - something that seems mutual to most men nowadays. I don't think I've even asked their names the past few times. Thankfully, they don't mind that.Sometimes there are handsome ones who come along who seem nice enough but I prefer to blindfold them beforehand. Truth be told, I do it because I can't stand the thought of another man that I'm attracted to seeing how ugly I am underneath my clothes. Gratefully, they don't mind that either.Some of them I still seek out as well, since a few have given me what I need in this aspect of my life. Choking, slapping, and all the rough pounding help me forget as well as serve as a reminder. I can take some pleasure alongside the pain, but my greatest enjoyment is being able to wake up without feeling heartbreak from all.
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