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Recently, a female sheriff's deputy arrestedPatrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a field at night. The next day, at the GwinnettCounty (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication. The suspect explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop.'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought there was no one around' he stated. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need.'Guess I was really into it, y'know?' he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching sheriff's car and was unaware of his audience until Deputy Brenda. I have a job lined up. Just waiting for CRB. You know, to show that I am not a criminal and will go nicking things."Rhea took a sharp intake of breath but John leapt to his feet. "What are you saying?" I'm saying that I can be trusted. Trusted not to defraud my employer. You can't."Rhea glared at Simon who barely noticed with his glazed eyes, the alcohol was having a powerful effect on him."Whoa!" Zoe shouted and looked at both of her brothers. "I haven't got you here so you can have a fight." Well tell that fucking cunt to shut his mouth," John spat angrily and Simon curled his fingers into a fist."Why don't you try and shut it for me?" Simon replied. "Just cause I have done something with me life." Oh yeah. I heard you lost that house of yours and had to beg to live with Andy. You have a child, so do I. I have three. You don't own a home. Neither do I. You don't have a job. Neither do I. You ain't got nothing that I ain't got. Apart from a knocked up bitch."Rhea's eyes fizzed and.
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