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You see, I had always found attractive women a challenge. Come on, I found nearly all women a challenge. Married or single, it made no difference to me. I had to experience them in bed, or rather they had to experience me. God, I’m good – well I bloody should have been with all the practice I’d had. I never though I was particularly handsome. I suppose that by some folk’s standards I might not have been considered handsome at all. But what I had was ‘the gift of the gab’ as they say and I could normally talk any bird I fancied into bed. Of course once I got her there I had the experience to keep her there. Come on, you ladies know what I’m talking about. Well, if you don’t, get yourself another bed partner! Morals? Yeah I’ve always had morals. Well, my own interpretation of morals, that is. I have always steered well clear of my buddies’ women. If she belonged to an acquaintance, that was a completely different matter. But my buddies’ women were completely off limits, even if they. But, if I was going to givethis thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.Am I wrong?So, there I sat! in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.The directions said that:a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; anda three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on.
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