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I had done everything he’d ever asked. I had become his “milk-maid” and remained his “milk-maid”, I had allowed his brother to suckle me two or three times a week, I never wore panties when we went out, I always wore low cut tops which really showed off my large breasts, I even drove the car with my breasts uncovered and exposed when Mark was with me - because that was what he liked. He liked other men to see me naked! He liked other men to want me! So, I reasoned, what was so different about this? And at least it was someone I knew, I reasoned. After Sean was born and we had decided that we would maintain my milk and continue with our adult suckling – we made a commitment to each other. In many ways it was more of a commitment than our marriage vows. We agreed that I would provide him with milk and that he would suckle me, at least 3 times a day, 365 days of the year. In an ANR, you can’t have a day off – the milk still gets made, the breasts still swell, they still need. "I had a lady friend over on the weekend," I said calmly. "My wholeapartment smells rather girly at the moment. Maybe some of it rubbedoff on me".But somehow, I felt the need to reinforce my masculinity to her andeverybody. I needed the "she-me" to be kept secret. It was becoming mystrength. I had come to realise that I had become more effective atwork as the sheep in wolf's clothing. I was coping better than I everhad for weeks. There was no doubt about it now - McLellan was right.There was a female side to me, and it was the better side.I started to wonder how far I could go to draw this thing out of me. Idecided a little more dress up might be in order. It would be anexperiment.My mother had died only a few months before. She was hardly an oldwoman. Cancer is what killed her. I had a box of her more personalstuff in my hall cupboard. To be honest I had only given it casualexamination, looking for cash and certificates and such like. But Iknew there was some jewellery.
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