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"(I love this part) The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."This one is compliments of kilocyclesExcuse meA man enters a hotel lobby. As he runs to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman and as he does, his elbow hits her breast.They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 243."This one is complements of R LA little boy walks into a whorehouse with a murderous look on his face and a dead frog in his hands and asks, "I want a whore with herpes."The madam looks at the boy and says,"We don't have any of those around here, kid."The boy is not to be deterred, and screams, "I WANT A WHORE WITH HERPES!"The madam decides that it's gonna be easier to just give the boy what he wants and leads him to a room in the back where there is indeed one of that description.After a while, the boy comes back. "Wall of Voodoo," I offered tentatively. The sounds of her ?what thefuck is a Mexican Radio? ringing in my ears.She grinned. "Cool. Anyone else?"I thought about another video, ?Goody Two Shoes,? how cool the guitarplayer looked, cigarette in his mouth, sitting outside, playing hisguitar. "Adam Ant."She smiled. "There's hope for you, Alan."And we drove home the rest of the way, listening to the music andtalking.Since that night, we drove home together a couple of times a week,making fun of the customers."Excuse me, miss...miss...I know there are people ahead of me," and shewould poke my arm."Young man, young man." And I?d pull on her sleeve. "Why is the GreatGatsby under ?F? and not ?G??" "I do not know what happened to this book," the pages of the book inquestion frozen open, the ink on the cover art running, "but I demand afull refund."---Tonight, she looked at me. "Do you have to get home?" She popped XTCinto the tape deck, and ?Senses Working Overtime? began playing.I had.
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