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Oh we did leave the skating rink, but Mommy took me to see a doctor, a specialist. I learned what a GYNECOLOGIST is that afternoon. I also learned that it was now virtually impossible for me to ever go back to being a boy! My male hormones have been shut down, maybe permanently because of the shrinkage of my male genitals, the doctor called it atrophy, is virtually impossible to reverse. She said it was because Mommy had started me on the female hormones before I was fully into male puberty. Apparently the female hormones shut down what would have been a normal male puberty and re-routed it into a normal female puberty! So now I know that I'm going to be a girl for the rest of my life no matter what I want. I guess it makes me feel a little better to know that my the hormones have been changing my mind as well as my body. At least it makes what I did with Peter a little more palatable. As we drove home Mommy told me how delighted she is to finally have a sweet daughter. Then. Even in those amateur productions back in school, when the expectations (and competition) had been so much less, I'd never shone as I had on that stage. And then there was my dinner with Camilla, and the prospect of Scarpia ahead of me and all that would do to jump my career to a whole new level. To cap it all off, when I'd left her after taking her back to her hotel room to pick up the Tosca score, she'd kissed me good night! OK, so it wasn't much of a kiss, just a friendly peck, but it was on the lips and who knew where it might lead?I was still euphoric as I walked in the door and found the cat, as I had two nights before, still sprawled out on the couch where I'd left him. Kitty seemed pretty lackadaisical about my belated return—it was pushing 2:00 a.m.—and I couldn't get him to share much in my elation. He did purr a bit, but when I let him out he was once again back almost immediately, and he turned up his nose when I offered him food. My absences, it seemed, were something.
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