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I've pledged to collect a pint of semen, and people are paying me for every teaspoonful I collect."My mother prides herself on being open-minded. "Oh, that's wonderful! I'm afraid I can't help with that, but my husband might when he comes home, and Jess here might be willing." Well, yes, of course it is only the men and boys who can help with that side of things." OK -- look, here's my husband now." Dad's car was pulling in the driveway. "I'm sure Fred will be happy to masturbate for you, and maybe Jess here. Do you have a receptacle for them to ejaculate into?" Yes, we can provide that if they'd like. But we actually prefer it if they ejaculate the sperm into my vagina. The donation is usually bigger that way, and what's more, I provide 'matching funds' in terms of lubrication, you know? It's part of the pledge arrangement."My mother seemed totally unfazed now, as if this happened every day.Blood had started surging into my loins the moment Kristen had mentioned that word "sperm",. Due to her college course load and the fact that she still lived with her mom who had no idea she was screwing the older guy next door, I only got to see her two or three times a month. So it was with heavy balls that I marched into the local mall in search of one of those do-it-yourself photo booths. See, my passport was out of date and I needed a new one if I wanted to leave the country. Well, I could leave but I couldn't get back in again. I needed the photos to include with my passport renewal application, along with the requisite form, my old passport, and of course, their fee. They said four-to-six weeks to get my new one, so realistically I needed to get the paperwork on its way pronto if I wanted to leave before the next ice age.When I was a k** those photo booths were everywhere; a box the size of a closet where people go in, sit on a little bench, and mug for the camera. There's usually a thin curtain to conceal them from the passers-by, and they're often used by drunk k**s.
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