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Since it worked well enough, I have enclosed what I believe would have been your commission.Sincerely,Wait for it...Dick Van DykeThree Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, “However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven.”The first guy comes up to the gate and says, “I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her.” So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce.The next man comes up and says, “I cheated on my wife a little but I still love her.” He gets a mustang and drives off into heaven.The next guy came up and said, “I cheated on my wife a lot.” He gets a scooter.Next day the guy that got the scooter was riding along and he saw the guy who owned the Rolls Royce crying.He asked, “Why are you crying you have such a nice car?” and the man sobbed, “My wife just went by on roller skates.”Phone Operator: “G’day mate ... Helpline here ... What’s theproblem?”Customer: “I’m in the Outback with the girlfriend and she’s been stungon her. May gets to her car at the exact same moment as every other night. She doesn't see or hear him coming."I hope you at least feel the sting of the taser" He thinks to himself as he presses it against the base of her neck rendering May unconscious.They stop about half way to their destination to gas the car up. While he's filling the tank he hears May starting to come too in the trunk. Heading back to the driver's side he gives her a little taunting knock on the lid of the trunk and hears May respond with a loud pleading moan, he laughs silently to himself as he gets back in the driver's seat. The kidnapper is extremely excited at this point, the entire last half of the trip he's thinking about all the things he plans on doing with his new toy. He also tries to think about all the things May is thinking are about to happen to her."Some of your worst nightmares are going to come true tonight" the kidnapper say to himself knowing fully that that was a true statement but he also has a good.
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