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”Husband texts back;“Gently pour some lukewarm water over it.”Wife texts back 5 minutes later;“Computer really fucked now.”A Greek and Italian were sitting in a Starbuck’s one day discussing who had the superior culture.Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, “Well, we have the Parthenon.”Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, “We have the Coliseum.”The Greek retorts, “We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics”The Italian, nodding agreement, says, “But we built the Roman Empire.”And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.With a flourish of finality he says, “We invented sex!”The Italian replies, “That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women.”A photographer on vacation was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read‘$10,000 per call’.The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.The priest. Mom is always pointing him out to meand saying that. The other day we saw him on tv and Mom said, You knowHoney, I think he is wearing lip gloss? Do you see that? And it wastrue, it definitely looked that way. She said, See that, here is a boythat is wearing a little makeup, and all the girls love him! I was like,What's your point, Mom. And she said, My point, Mr. Smarty Pants is thatyou do not have to be Mr. Macho Man to be popular with the girls.Anyway, we were in the mall over the weekend, and we walked by this standcalled The Peersing Pigoda. Mom stopped to look, and the girl who wasworking there said there was a special, if you bought a pair of gold studsthey would do the peersing for free. Mom looked at me and said, What doyou say, Honey? I was pretty scared, both because I thought it would hurtand I was pretty worried about what the kids in class would say. And thenMom basically bribed me. She said, I know you have had your eye on thatnew iTouch. What do you say,.
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