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One of the questions asked was 'What animal would you like to be?' We had the usual answers Lion, Eagle, Tiger etc. (I said cockroach; they were on earth before mankind and would be here when mankind disappears.). Toddy said 'a brontosaurus'."Don't be daft Toddy" said Spud "they've been extinct for millions of years." Are they buggery" said Toddy. "Me and me girlfriend saw one in Chessington zoo last May!"A lot of 'don't be stupid's and 'I know what I saw' until I was brought in to adjudicate."What did this brontosaurus look like?" I asked. We couldn't understand Toddy's rather vague description, until Jetex suddenly gave a hoot of laughter and said,"He means a hippopotamus!" Are you sure they're called that hippopwachercall it?" asked Toddy, looking puzzled "I could have sworn the keeper said brontosaurus. I remember coz my bird said that she had a sore arse from sitting on the bus so long getting there!" He was taking the piss" said Jetex, "he could see that you was a Tottenham. Johnson could now pleasure her man with just the flip of the masturbatory acuator. Indeed, she did not even have to put the Law and Order reruns on pause to do so. They spent their retirement years on the sofa with Mr. Johnson largely comatose with pleasure and Mrs. Johnson multitasking with the TV remote and the Masturbatory Remote. She was credited with the idea of combining the remotes into one small device that made her life even more efficient as they approached their 80's. She had never been a cold or heartless woman. It was just that all the work of escalating both her mind and body to the orgasmic state was just more work than she was prepared to undertake just for the sake of a marriage. It is likely that this advancement saved any number of marriages in much the same way, although at this point that has never been established with scientific certainty. The Chinese have now taken the lead in all of this and have both motor and sensory inputs such that there is.
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