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Now I can see myself in the mirror. I look away. The roots of anorexia mean ‘without appetite,’ or ‘without hunger.’ Whoever named the disorder was misguided. It’s not about body image, it’s about control. The sight of my own body disgusts me. I’m not short, but I have the body of a child again. I feel like a child. But I have the large bony head of a woman. On top of a stick neck it looks like a giant insect head. Or a baby chick’s head with large eyes and a tiny soft beak. I have already identified a loose baseboard beneath the bed. Anything starchy from meals will decompose quickly between the walls with no outward signs of decay. There were no signs of rodent droppings, so I will have to do something else with meat. Without a private bathroom, flushing through the toilet becomes risky. We’ll see. I still haven’t spoken since fleeing here to my room following group session. I do not trust my voice. ‘My name is Juirly,’ someone , Juirly, says behind me. I haven’t heard the door. A warm pleasure began to engulf my penis, his mouth slid right over the tip and down my shaft, allowing his tongue to swirl around the tip as his lips massaged their way back up. This felt too good. I grabbed the sheets and flicked them off to the right. There was Alex, looking up at me with his big blue eyes and my cock in his mouth. It turned me on hugely to see this guy sucking my dick like I had wanted him to for the past three years. His right hand gripped the base of my cock and pumped it into his mouth while the other hand fondled my balls to result in the most amazing feeling I have ever experienced. He kept going, pumping and sucking, taking as much of my thick cock in his mouth as he could.He pulled it out of his mouth but continued to pump.“It’s so big” he said with wide eyes and a smile that I could fuck. It’s true, my dick is quite impressive, I’m not sure of the exact measurement, may be 7 or 8 inches long, nice and thick too, but is definitely bigger than most. Alex.
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