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So, I was young and scared and horny, I knew not to masturbate before I went there so that I would be ready, It was all I could do since my young dick was so hard and fat and pointing upwards, waiting on that night...I didnt think I could stand it but somehow I made it though and I went there on a Friday night.The preliminaries were short. I got there and tried to calm down. He asked me if I liked Chinese and so he ordered out. Then he took me around his apartment and showed me the rooms. When we got to the bedroom, he closed the door before we could go in. Then he told me "we would be seeing that later." I was scared but felt a bolt of homosexual desire shoot through me. I was aroused and my mouth was dry. Could it really happen? Would I make love to the man of my dreams that very night???The food arrived and I thought for just an instant saw that the delivery man had an amused look on his face.Maurice and I were eating and started to flirt and giggle. He started feeding me with his. If he comes back to me, I'll move into his arms and hold him close. I love him, dammit. Sometimes I wish I didn't. And I'm holding back. He doesn't have all of me, and each time he leaves, when he returns, I give him less of me than he had before. He knows this. He knows I'm pulling away from him. I can see it in his eyes — the hurt, I mean. I'm hurting him, but I can't stop it. Hurting him is the last thing I want to do, but I must protect myself because..." The tears welling in her eyes overflowed and streaked her cheeks. "Because someday he won't come back. If that happens and I've given him all that I am, I won't survive the grief. I'm holding back to survive, and that feels so selfish of me." Surviving isn't being selfish, Grace," I said."Sure it is," Agnes said. "But there's nothing wrong with being selfish to survive. Make sure you protect yourself, sweetie."Grace brushed the tears from her cheeks and rose to her feet. "Let's dance in slow motion and search for our centers. I.
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