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Anyway enough of that let’s get on with my story – for many years he would take us out every second Sunday either to cousins, the beach, lunch and as always he had me right beside him or sitting on his lap saying that he wished he could make a little cut in his arm and tuck me in there or eat me up so I could always be with him. It never bothered me cause I thought my Daddy loved me so much he never wanted to let me go, only years later did I fully understand the true meaning behind those words.As my siblings and I grew into teenagers we would individually spend weekends with Dad and his wife although I seemed to spend more than my usual share and my father was as always very clingy and touchy, feely – his wife either never noticed or chose to ignore it. As I said I was in my early teens, Dads wife was at work and we were relaxing on the balcony, I was sitting on my Dads lap chatting and just watching the yachts sailing around when he asked for a kiss, I’d always found my Dads. “Why the fuck are you here?” I seethed. I could feel the despair, and tendrils of hope slip away, only to be replaced with anger. Good. Anger I could deal with, do something with. Anger would propel me towards some action. I stood straighter with my fury fortifying my spine and my resolve, five foot two is a lot taller when you’re mad. “You read the letter, that’s why I’m here, Esme. I love you, I want to make it up to you.” He took a step toward me, hands non-threatening and out to his sides. I was at the proverbial fork in the road at this point. I had to push down my feelings of elation. At that moment I wanted to run to him, wrap my arms around him, and weep like a child. And I hated that weakness in me that I would give up my heart so easily once more for its betrayer. I narrowed my eyes and stalked towards Shawn, to his surprise. “You are nothing to me.” I lied loftily, words flying to my lips before I could think. “I am so over you, and you think you could just waltz into my.
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